When your relationship or marriage is going downhill, you have to learn to take time to pause, ponder over your relationship circumstance, and look for solution instead of mistakes.
Whatever you do, focus on holding tight to your partner's hand, so that he or she will not be beaten by the destructive forces that are coming their way and hurting the relationship.
It is well for us to understand that genuine love is not a simple, definite feeling that can be easily comprehended and controlled.
It is a delicate compound of many of our most powerful tendencies and emotions. To love is not a simple or voluntary act; it is a life of spontaneous, complex and continuous activities.
True love between man and woman may manifest itself suddenly, forcefully and almost simultaneously in the consciousness of each. There is no doubt that many couples mutually "fall in love at first sight." On the other hand, genuine love may be a matter of slow growth, requiring months to unfold and years to mature.
Some of the most delightful marriage unions known have resulted from a slowly developing love. Some persons are very susceptible to the charms of physical beauty or to the attractions of character, and immediately surrender to them when opportunity offers.
Others are slow to receive impressions, distrustful or appearances and cautious in all that pertains to so important a matter.
Many relationship cases of "love at first sight", with almost an immediate marriage, have proven entirely harmonious; but such spontaneous and rapid alliances are comparatively rare, and more rarely satisfactory.
As a rule, it is much wiser for young couples, even though they may feel irresistibly drawn toward each other, to meet many times under various circumstances before concluding that they are really so completely in love with each other as to marry.
Frequent meetings, with opportunities for a careful study of each other's tastes and peculiarities, the inevitable friction of mind with mind in repeated conversations, and such disclosures of principles, desires and habits as will inevitably result from repeated association and increased knowledge of each other's ambitions and deepest longings.
For myself, the occasional accidental or prearranged meetings with my partner and long time friend, when are deeply interested in each other and dreaming of love - the walks and rides taken together, the public gatherings attended in each other's company - all contribute not only to an increased knowledge of each other's character, but also tend to harmonize and blend our tastes, principles, purposes.
When things went wrong, I often asked myself, "What exactly happened when he strays? What exactly contributed to our conflicts when everything seemed to be going so well for us? What had I done to allow another person to come into our lives so easily and quickly??"
I've come to a conclusion.
And my discoveries could well give you some insights which you can adopt and adapt to your own relationship circumstances.
I've discovered I myself cannot help but be attracted to another person who can confirm my doubts, fears and suspicions.
In fact, if there is one other person who can grab my attention and remove my focus away from my mate, this WILL be a person who knows this unusual and little known secret.
You do not need to take a great deal of time to understand this secret. In fact, it has often been used by leaders who can persuade and motivate large masses of people. It could also have been used by one of your closest friends, on YOU!
Now, think about this, in your daily life, are you saying all of these or behaving in these ways during your interaction with your partner/spouse:
~ When your mate claims that he (she) is tired, instead of assessing the situation, do you immediately and impatiently blame him/her for being lazy or inconsiderate?
~ When your mate expresses his/her fear of giving that big presentation for the company the next day, do you ask him/her to just get over it and work hard on polishing the speech tonight?
~ When your partner complains to you about the unfair treatment he/she is receiving from the vendor from whom he has bought his ipod, do you say "serves you right for not listening to my advice about buying from that vendor", or, do you say "well, he needs to do business", and then you proceed to give him some "moral" lessons which he can take away with him tonight?
I certainly have made all these mistakes.
By dismissing my partner's feelings, doubts, fears or even suspicions, I leave myself (and my partner) vulnerable to my rivals who knowingly (or unknowingly) are able to make use of these simple principles.
Many parents too have made this mistake with their children, perhaps unknowingly. I remembered when I told my mother that "I'm scared of the test tomorrow"; she gave me a scolding, for not working hard for my test earlier. "You wouldn't feel unprepared and fearful if you had done your work!" was all she could say.
Naturally, I found myself listening more to my friends and classmates than to her. If I confided in my friends with the same statement, they would tell me, "Look. It won't be easy. I'm not well prepared too. But, we can do something about it!"
If you take some time to think about it, it wouldn't be difficult to understand why I would listen more to my friends than to my parents. I got the feeling "hey, we are on the same boat! YOU are the only one who understands me (my feelings!)"
My friends have more power over me than my parents. And all the while my parents are puzzled why "I'm so disobedient!"
This also explains why people leave long term relationships and marriages for another person who are able to "understand them" better than their current partners!
If you are having a relationship problem, advice can be just the thing you need.. Modern life seems to get busier and busier, and sometimes it can become a real struggle to keep up with life and your relationship. This article will hopefully help you stay ahead.
Relationship Problem Advice 1 You need to communicate. A famous basketball coach once said there has never been a good silent defense, and it's true, but it's also true that there has never been a good silent marriage. If you feel like you have an issue, talk it over. There's nothing to gain by keeping it quiet. Keeping stuff bottled up long term can lead to resentment and trust issues, and once you get into those realms, it's very tough to get back out again.
Relationship Problem Advice 2 Have fun together.. When was the last time you both laughed at something that wasn't on the TV? Find an activity you both find enjoyable or interesting, and do it together. If you can't find anything at all that you are both even a little interested in, just go for nature walks or something like that-the important thing is to be away from your house and doing things that involve direct interaction with each other-interaction other than “Can you pass the salt?”
Relationship Problem Advice 3 Try not to criticize. You are supposed to be a partnership, and partnerships are not designed to pick each other apart. There will always be problems and things that need talking over, but it's not really your place to take issue with everything that your partner does or says. This kind of behaviour is only going to cause severe problems, as your partner will pretty soon come to resent you.
Relationship Problem Advice 4 Be prepared to work at it. A marriage isn't an automatic thing, it's something that you need to maintain and work on to make it work. You can work on your marriage by taking the time to speak to each other every single day-speaking about things outside your home life, yours or your partner's careers for example. This is a great way to keep an interest in each other, and to maintain your listening skills, which are an important part of any marriage.
Relationship Problem Advice 5 Manage your money together. It seems like a very small detail sometimes, but it's very easy to let finance become an issue in your relationship. Once it does, it's hard to get out of that rut and it can easily lead to one or other of you feeling insecurities and distrust toward your partner. To avoid this happening, sit down and set some rules and expectations regarding money. If you have a set way of dealing with this things it can prevent any embarrassments or surprises as time goes by.
Relationships are tricky things, they can be fraught with problems which can often be solved by simple advice. To get the best advice around, check out the links below.
I was speaking with a group of friends about relationships one day and decided to ask them about the things that both sexes do that are loved or hated by the other.
This is a compilation of the things they said...
1 - Move the boundaries When you make an agreement, women often either don't stick to them or say that they feel differently about the situation and they want to renegotiate.
2 - They generally do not express what is on their minds unless prompted. Why can't she just say she's sad when she is and say she has issues with some thing when she does.
3 - They generally understand guys but disagree with the way that they are so either try to change them or just do not accommodate them.
4 - Comparing their mate to another man in an unfavourable light. The only time it may work is if the man being used for comparison is a role model to their mate.
5 - Wanting to turn the man into a lady by demanding certain kinds of actions. He is not a woman!
6 - Demeaning his interests and hobbies Some ladies belittle their husbands interests and actively try to wean them from them (for instance football), while simultaneously trying to get the man to take a deep interest in their hobbies and also participate. The end message that is often communicated is "I don't care about your interests but you had better care about mine if you love me".
7 - Slob culture from the lady - just generally unclean or untidy. Most men like a woman who can manage her environment.
8 - Discussing the man with her friends.
9 - Nagging.
10 - Listening with a vacant shut-up-so-I-can-talk-too expression. Many men are put off by a girl who carries that kind of expression while they are talking. Men do not always share their feelings in the way that ladies expect, so when he talks about something that is important to him and she interrupts to raise a subject that is not relevant to the matter at hand, it may generate cracks.
11 - A lady not recognising that in a conversation, men are solution oriented rather than conversation oriented. Don't get irritated because he doesn't want a 3-hour talk when he can see a quick solution.
12 - Spend all day looking in the mirror - and still not look any different!
13 - Getting paranoid about the way they look If he didn't like the way she looks, he wouldn't be with her.
14 - Insecurity when out together Men don't like women saying things like "you fancy her" and "she's far better looking than me". Stop saying it. It irritates them to bits.
Ladies are we really committing these relationship no-nos and driving our men bonkers? If you find yourself doing any of the things above, give yourself a smart rap on the knuckles. Hopefully the pain will bring you back to order.
The Top 7 Ways to Flirt with Women by James, host of "How To Be Irresistible To Women Mastery Series"
In my "How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Mastery Series" course, I talk with guys like Joseph Matthews about about the best ways to read female body language and recognize signals of attraction. But the truth is, women are always looking from body signals from us GUYS, as well. If we make the right moves and send the right signals, then it doesn't matter how we look or how much we make: our body communication will make women chemically and emotionally attracted to us! Body language, COUNTS.
This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl’s eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you’ve made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn’t smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.
2. The Dale Head Drop
So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl–and show some balls–meet a girl’s eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, "Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!" I’ve found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more–but it still works!
3. Smile!
It’s often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you’re in control, show her you’re confident, show her you’re a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It’s good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!
4. Open Body Language
So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You’ll not only attract yourself into a girl’s world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend–or even wife!
5. Lean back her
As you’re talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning away. This is the confident, assured posture of the alpha man, something dating expert, Carlos Xuma, discusses in detail in my course. It forces her to lean into YOU, thereby putting you in the position of the chooser. It also communicates signals to her that she has to EARN your respect--that you're not going to just give it away. And that drives her, WILD!
Of course, when things are going well and you're starting to develop a bond, you want to lean in. You don’t want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl’s body language and tone of voice, how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation–and confidence in yourself–by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. This communicates to her that you're ready to take things to the next level. If you've done your homework correctly, she'll be ready, too.
There's also so much space to answer this question, but there is one place that has ALL the answers:
My "How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Mastery Series" multimedia course!
There are over TEN different interviews with the masters of seduction, the top gurus in their field. From Joseph Matthews and Savoy, to Carlos Xuma and Zan, these guys cover EVERYTHING. From conquering your insecurities and developing permanent self-belief, to mastering the art of the approach, even to generating sexual interest within minutes of meeting a woman: it's all in there. So check it out now!
4 Proven Methods For Finding a Girlfriend-Starting Today
If you're like a lot of guys, then finding the right girl is an important thing in your life. While it's great to have an fun social life and lots of friends, there is a certain void which only great girlfriend can fill.
Now the one mistake men make is to sit back and HOPE a great woman will just walk through the door. Unfortunately fate usually isn't this kind. If you want to find a girlfriend, you have to be willing to go out and do a little bit of work.
In this article, I'll give you four ways you can increase your likelihood of finding girlfriend. If you apply these four tips, you'll be able to quickly find lots of great women who'll make great girlfriends:
1- Try dating different women
The first step to getting a girlfriend is to try dating different women.
Now the important thing to remember is to not dive into a committed relationship with the first woman who find interesting. Instead try dating different women to figure out what you REALLY want in your life
While you should avoid sleeping around with lots of girls, it's extremely important to date different women. Since your goal is to find someone special, try being a little selective about the woman you choose for a relationship.
Think about dating different women as a selection process where you're looking for you want in a future girlfriend.
2- Widen your social circle
The guys who really enjoy life know the important of having a large group of friends and a social circle with many contacts.
If you learn to increase your social circle, you'll have more opportunities to have interesting things to talk about and will know lots of great people. One of the cardinal rules of dating is having an active life helps you become a better person. By making more friends, you'll become the kind of guy who women LOVE to date.
Another reason for increasing your social circle is it'll help you find more women to date. If you pay attention to people with significant others, you'll learn that a lot of them met their partners through friends and social contacts. By taking the time to expand your social life, you'll be more likely to find a girlfriend
3- Have fun with your life
One of the secrets for happiness in life is to know how to enjoy different things. When only focus on getting a girlfriend, you'll be depressed if fall short of this goal.
Instead of only concentrating on landing a girlfriend, take this time to enjoy other aspects of your life. This means spending time with your friends, focusing on work or school, exercising, taking up a new hobby, or being with your family.
Even though you don't have a girlfriend, you should still live life to the fullest!
4- Find your dream girlfriend
If you do the previous 3 tips, you'll start to get an idea of what you want in a girlfriend. Over the weeks and months of dating, try narrowing down the women till you find a great girl who matches your interests and personality.
While you'll probably date and meet lots of incredible women, it's important only choose a woman who completes your life. If you take the time to find the right woman, you'll end up in a very successful relationship.
If you follow the four tips I outline in this article, and become proactive with your life, you'll find it's pretty simple to find the girlfriend of your dreams!
This is actually pretty simple if you know what women are looking for in a guy. To be honest, I can tell you right now WHY you haven't found a girlfriend yet.
See, you may have found a special woman you WOULD LIKE to be with, but she just doesn't feel attracted to you.
She does NOT feel the same way towards you than you do to her.
How come?
Because you didn't give a woman what she needs to feel sexually attracted to you. She may think you're a nice guy and a good friend, but that's as far as it goes. She doesn't see you as a potential boyfriend or lover.
And that really sucks ... so we need to change that.
So what are you doing wrong? What is it that makes women tell you that "you are a nice guy, but not really for her?"
Well for once...you are a god-d*** wussbag!
A woman doesn' reject a man if he doesn't have anything to offer to a her like money, a muscular body, a fancy sports-car and good-looks. That's not the case even thought everybody thinks that way.
It's not because women think you are a weirdo or you dress like a bum.
It's not because you think all those stunning women are out of your league.
There I something else.
You haven't found a girlfriend or a woman that loves you for who you are because you are just being yourself...no, no.
It's because women don't like men who act like wimps and clingy nice-guys.
Now...READ MY LIPS: You are a wimp!!
See, you have been YOURSELF all your life...and has it worked? Not really. But you don't want to become a different person either and I respect that. The good thing is, you won't have to change at all ... you just need to IMPROVE!
I need to show you what really works with women, and give you the necessary knowledge and some of my killer dating tips that actually work in the real world.
Not just any kind of dating tips...I am going to show you how ANYBODY, regardless of how rich, tall or handsome you are can meet and date the kind of women you always wanted!
So why don't you have a girlfriend yet?
Because nobody has ever told you what to do to successfully attract women. How could you? Most men aren't born with the gift of making women laugh, giggle and sweeping them off their feet.
It is an art, and if you've never really understood why women pick certain men over others, you have some learning to do.
So here's what I want you to do:
STOP being a wuss!
Don't kiss a woman's a***.
Don't buy them drinks.
Don't pay them any compliments.
Don't invite them to dinner or to the movies.
Don't bring flowers, chocolate, a cuddly-toy or ANYTHING at all!
It only shows a woman that you are a clingy, needy nice-guy who wants to BUY a woman's affection...and attraction cannot be bought, EVER!
If you do, she will either walk all over you or just tell you that you are a nice guy, but "let's rather be friends!". And here's another thing. The more you want sex from her, a long-term relationship or even just a kiss ... the less you will get it.
Women don't like what they can have right away. If you are too pushy, needy and "easy-to-get", you are not a challenge for any woman and therefore BORING!
The key is to be interesting!
So STOP what you are doing RIGHT NOW...and get it right!
In the world of dating a blind date can, for some, be a scary thing, but it doesn't have to work out that way. If a friend of yours wants to set you up with someone, why not go? The worst that could happen is that you find that you aren't attracted to the person, you have nothing in common, and you aren't any worse off than you were before. In fact you've just had the opportunity to practice your dating skills. The best thing that could happen is that you find you are totally right for each other physically, mentally, and otherwise. A blind date can be a lot of fun, if you allow yourself to let go of the idea that all blind dates have to end badly!
Many singles hate the idea of a blind date, but your thoughts about it shouldn't be all that bad. Many have even met 'the one' from a blind date and many have often found 'the one for right now!' There are a lot of options when you go on a blind date. Even if you don't think it would be a long term thing, if both parties are into casual sex it could prove to be a good match! Also, it might give you someone to go to the movies with and that sort of thing; one can never have too many friends. Remember that your friend set you up with this person for a reason, so there has to be something good that can come of it. That might include a long term relationship, casual sex, or just a friendship so you might as well make the most of it, what have you got to lose?
It's important that you approach your blind date with a good attitude, because if you go into the date with a bad attitude it won't work out in any way. If you approach it with even a little bit of enthusiasm you'll find that you can have a great time even if you know that it isn't the perfect match that your friend thought it would be. Give yourself permission to have a good time, to be honest about who you are, and in the end you might find that the blind date wasn't half as bad as you thought it would be. Who knows, you might just have met Mr or Mrs right!
When you're fresh into a hard breakup and you feel like you've just had your heart ripped out and stepped on, it can be very hard to pick up the pieces and come up with a plan to pull your life back together and get your ex back. Likely you don't know where to even begin, much less how to work out a full idea of what you need to do to find happiness again.
Things look a lot brighter when you have someone to hold your hand through the rough times, and getting your ex back can be one of the most confusing and difficult things you ever try to achieve in your life...but only if you don't know what you're doing.
There's a pretty easy process you can use to get your ex back...people behave in certain ways so closely that there's almost a science to it, and performing certain actions can be almost guaranteed to achieve specific results. Simply put, people just work a certain way....and you can use that to close the gaps between you and the one you love, and get your life back on track with him or her.
Men and women both have particular things they need out of a relationship, and if they don't get them the relationship is very unlikely to succeed. Your partner probably broke up with you because one or more of these needs weren't being met, and if you can identify them and how to address them it'll be far easier to get your ex back and what's more...keep the relationship going.
The Magic of Making Up is just one of a great many books out there designed to help you get your ex back, but unlike the majority of them its methods and ideas work for virtually all relationships. If there's a chance that the two of you are compatible enough to have a happy life together, there's a great chance that the system will work for you if you put your heart into it.
Your ex made one thing clear: you two will not work as you both are...and it's not going to be him who changes. Therefore, this is all in your hands and you're the only one you can count on to make this come out all right in the end. You just need a helping hand to know where to go and what to do from here, and that's what this process is here for!
To learn more information about this proven effective process, take a look at the free articles and advice about the Magic of Making Up System. You don't have to go this alone, visit the website and take advantage of a helpful guide for getting through this and coming out on top. Good luck, I hope you find the happiness you once had with the one you love.
Romantic Love and Those Three Little Words - How To Tell Him You Love Him by Cucan Pemo
So you’ve met the man of your dreams. Your heart sings, your pulse races, you walk around all moony-eyed and have trouble thinking about anything but him. You want to tell him that you love him, and that you think that he’s The One, but you don’t want to seem clingy – or worse, scare him off.
We’ve all heard horror stories about one partner telling the other that they love them and then getting the “thanks, but no thanks” response.
Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself, adding to your fears. So how do you tell him that you love him without coming off like a creepy stalker?
1) Choose the right place and the right time.
Think hard about when and where you want to tell him. If you’re worried that he won’t respond with enthusiasm, it helps to be prepared. Maybe you’d like to tell him on the anniversary of when you met, or at the place you first kissed, or over dinner at your favorite restaurant. Set the stage for romance and he’ll respond more positively.
2) Make it romantic.
Candlelight and music work on men just as well as they work on women. Wear something that you know he likes to see you in, ply him with his favorite meal, and get him in a romantic mood.
3) Make sure you can back it up.
Before you blurt out “I love you,” tell him what you appreciate about him. Compliment him and tell him what it is about him that you really like. Tell him how wonderful he makes you feel when you’re together and why you value your relationship. Be sincere, and be specific. Let him know that you value him for the many things that make him unique and special.
4) Consider the type of person he is.
If he’s a fun-loving, casual type, setting up a full-scale romantic assault may actually make him feel more nervous than passionate. He might respond better if you slip “I love you” into a conversation over a picnic lunch, or while laughing at one of your favorite movies.
By the time you get to expressing your love, you should know him pretty well – so pick a time and a place that will be most comfortable for him.
5) Share it, don’t demand it.
You want to tell him how you feel, not blackmail him into saying it back. He may not be ready to say it yet, and if he feels pressured he’ll resent you for it. And no matter what you do, never blurt it out as part of an argument. Screeching, “But I love you!” isn’t romantic, it’s disturbing and selfish.
6) Take the coward’s way out.
If you can’t bring yourself to flat-out say “I love you,” try a less pressure-filled way of saying the same thing. “I love having your arms around me,” “I love how you look in that shirt” and “I really love the way your eyes twinkle when you smile” are smaller declarations and a good way to gauge his feelings.
7) Don’t say it while under the influence.
A glass of wine may give you the courage to say those three little words, but several glasses of wine will just make you sloppy and silly. Besides, think of the message you’re sending him if it looks like you had to get drunk to tell him you love him! Do it while sober, so both of you know that you mean exactly what you say.
8) Be prepared for the worst.
No matter how much you fantasize about him saying “I love you” back, Don’t place all your hopes on it. He may not be ready. Worse, he may not feel the same way about you. Saying “I love you” should be a gift from you to him, not a demand to reciprocate – and if you pin all your hopes on him responding in exactly the way you’ve imagined, you may very well be disappointed.
Have a back-up plan in place in case he doesn’t return your feelings – know in advance that you may end up crying into your pillow or sitting up late with a girlfriend grousing about your broken heart. If he says “I love you back,” that’s great. But if he doesn’t, it’ll go better fo you if you’ve already prepared yourself for that possibility.
Above all, remember that saying “I love you” doesn’t really change anything. While it may be the ending to every romantic movie, exchanging those words doesn’t mean happily ever after.. It just means that you’re moving into a slightly different phase of your relationship – there’s still a lot to share with each other, and who knows what joys and challenges lie ahead?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Complete Retrieve A Lover Home Study Course Can Help You Bring More Love, Understanding and Passion Into Your Relationship and Personal Live Today. Discover How You Can Save Your Relationship, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce and Stop Your Break-ups today Without All The Fear And Heartache!
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